


Orange Hearts

by PacificGuardian



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Studying, Valentine's Day, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:50:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22710388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PacificGuardian/pseuds/PacificGuardian
Summary: Oh Sehun is in love with his best friend, but Junmyeon is already dating someone else.
Relationships: Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	Orange Hearts

They sat in silence.

Sehun stared at Junmyeon and his pretty eyelids as the latter was studying for a test. His gaze changed to Junmyeon lips when he started mouthing some of the definitions he needed to learn. Then to his nose as he saw him pinch the bridge of his nose repeating the key words again and again. Sehun let himself smile when Junmyeon lay in his bed groaning and covering himself with a blanket. 

"I give up!" Junmyeon said uncovering his face and pouting at Sehun. 

Sehun wanted to do nothing else but kiss him and his little pout. But he couldn't. Well, he could, but he really shouldn't. Instead, he just laughed at his friend's antics. 

"Are you laughing at my pain, Oh Sehun?" Junmyeon raised his left eyebrow. 

"Maybe?" Sehun imitated him. 

"Maybe?" Junmyeon repeated incredulously before pinning Sehun against his bed. 

Sehun stared at Junmyeon's eyes, focusing on not letting his eyes wander to his friend's lips. Maybe he should've closed his eyes instead because watching how his friend's eyes blink and go from mischievous to regret and finally awkwardness, hurt him more than what he could've imagined. 

The kind of hurt you can only feel after hurting someone important for you. 

Junmyeon went back into studying, lying on his side looking at Sehun. Sehun gulped and also lay on his side, mirroring Junmyeon. He started pretending he was doing something important while he was just scrolling through his explore page looking at memes. 

He stared at his screen just wondering what the hell he was trying to do here. If someone had asked him, he would've said he was just hanging with a friend. But he couldn't ignore how Junmyeon made him feel lately. How his laughter became a healing medicine for him, how his presence alone made his heart skip a beat but also made him feel so much peace with the familiarity, how his voice became his favorite sound in the whole world, how every time there was a skinship moment in the day he would repeat in his mind a thousand times before falling asleep. He couldn't ignore how Junmyeon made himself a home in his heart. How it felt more than just a crush. 

He couldn't ignore it, but he knew he should. 

He couldn't be in love with his best friend. Especially since his friend already had a boyfriend on his own. Yes, it was a long distance relationship but that didn't mean it wasn't a real reminder of why he shouldn't love Junmyeon. He didn't deserve to love him, not when Junmyeon had been crushing on Sehun for years only to be rejected every single time.

All of their friends had known about it too. They had helped Junmyeon confess to Sehun about seven times in three years. They had made plans to create these romantic scenarios between them. They had started playing games while drinking to make them kiss. His friends were obsessed on how they would make the perfect couple. 

It all ended with Sehun avoiding meeting Junmyeon and all of their common friends. Feeling betrayed they were forcing him to like Junmyeon back. Ironically, if they hadn't been so obsessive with their relationship, Sehun would've started to like Junmyeon sooner. 

Sehun would admit that when he started catching feelings for his friend he had thought it was just him missing the attention. After all, he started meeting Junmyeon and their common friends once he heard Junmyeon had moved on and started dating one of his ex classmates. He had felt free to meet him without feeling guilty. However, once he started talking regularly with him he discovered his new relationship was bothering a little bit too much. 

It bothered him when Junmyeon would start talking about how his boyfriend's hobbies were the same as his, how he loved listening to his boyfriend's complaints about his career and how he usually explained to him all the technical vocabulary he didn't understand from it. He hated how Junmyeon had showed him a gift his boyfriend had made for him, how he shared in his social media some of their sweet chats, how even his own home page was full with posts of Junmyeon tagging his boyfriend. He detested how lonely he felt when Junmyeon had travelled to visit his boyfriend and had taken a rain check on the movie night they had planned for those vacations, and how annoyed he felt when Junmyeon had finally posted the photos of that trip with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's family. 

Worst of all, he was angry with himself. Because that should have been him. Because that could have been him. But he wasn't. He gave up one of the best relationships he could've had because he was stupid. Stupid doesn't even cover how dumb he was for letting him go. His foolishness deserves to be named a new word, because nothing could come close to describing it. 

He had his doubts whether it was a real crush or his lonely ass asking for attention so he waited. He waited for his feelings to fade but as he got to know him more, the more his feelings grew. He became less of a crush and more of his best friend. A best friend he loved, a non platonic love. 

They had been dating for four months when Sehun started hanging with him more. Six months when Sehun started catching feelings. Ten months when Sehun realized his mistake but it was too late. They had celebrated their two years anniversary last week and Sehun could only feel this was a sick twist of fate and karma. 

All he could do now was watch the love of his life be happy with someone else. That's what he should do but he couldn't stop from trying to catch his attention. He tried to reason with himself that as long as they were still dating and not engaged, it wasn't that bad to get in between a relationship. But he wasn't sure he would say the same if Junmyeon got engaged. He would probably change it to as long as they are not married. And if Junmyeon got married, to as long as they don't have children. And so on. 

Sehun was afraid because for the first time in his life he didn't want to play fair. He wanted to be selfish, he wanted Junmyeon back, he wanted to be the one that could boast of having him as a boyfriend, he wanted to be the first one to talk to him in the morning and last one to say good night, he wanted everything he could have had if only he had opened his eyes and see how amazing Junmyeon really is. 

And God! Sehun tried so hard to be good. To be fair. He had his shot but he had wasted it. But he couldn't give up. Not like this. Not when the prize could be to spend the rest of his life with Junmyeon. But he felt guilty as hell. With Junmyeon because he looked genuinely happy and with Junmyeon's boyfriend because he was taking advantage of the fact that he lived over six hours away, while he only needed to travel twenty minutes by car. 

When he was lying in the same bed as Junmyeon watching him study. If he wanted to do he could just extend his arm and reach Junmyeon's cheeks and stroke them affectionately. He could press the tip of his fingers between Junmyeon's eyebrows and erase his frown. 

"I give up! I will fail my exam and then I'll fail my class. I don't care." Junmyeon frowned deeper and lay on his back watching the roof. 

"Didn't you take this class last semester?" Sehun turned the screen off from his phone and scooted closer to Junmyeon. 

"There was a reason why I didn't pass it on the first go, you know? " Junmyeon whined and covered his face with a pillow. 

Sehun chuckled and grabbed Junmyeon's phone out of his hands. 

"Which chapter is coming on the test?"

"Chapter 2. What are you doing?" Junmyeon said lifting the pillow off his face and stared at Sehun scrunching his face. 

"Helping you study, obviously," Sehun said bopping Junmyeon's nose. 

Junmyeon frowned and hugged Sehun bringing him close to him. If someone had entered his room they would've thought they were cuddling. And Sehun supposes they were. He made a silent prayer that he was the only one that could hear his own heart trying to escape from his body, but also thanked the heavens that Junmyeon was a skinship addict friend. 

"Don't. Let's sleep." Junmyeon hugged him tighter making Sehun the little spoon. Sehun could feel his friend's breath in the side of his neck as Junmyeon snuggled closer. 

"Or... let's study!" Sehun faked enthusiasm to cover up how sad he felt. How romantic this could be seen if they were more than just friends. It all seemed so domestic and cute when all Sehun wanted to do is remind himself that his friend had a boyfriend. How that was his mantra inside his head, repeating it every five seconds, forcing himself to not turn around and kiss the hell out of his best friend. 

"What are the steps to hire someone external from the company?" Sehun asked after a few seconds, when he was sure his voice wouldn't crack and he wouldn't stutter. 

Sehun could both hear and feel his friend sigh close to his ear. Then he felt the warmth behind him disappear, his friend lying on his back again as he started reciting the answer. Sehun didn't want to move from his position trying to imagine that his friend sighed because he was disappointed Sehun didn't turn around and kiss him. Trying to imagine it all meant he still had a chance of winning back his heart.

Creating a whole scenario in his head, where Junmyeon was still in love with him and just waiting for him to make a move. Where the sigh meant he was getting tired of waiting but it also meant his heart belonged to him. Sehun didn't dare to lay back too or face Junmyeon. He wanted to live in his head for a few more seconds. 

Trying to imagine this Valentine's Day could mean a new start. 

**Author's Note:**

> Orange Hearts come from the definition of an orange heart: "To send an orange heart is to express great care, comfort, and serenity... Also the orange heart emoji means you just wanna stick as friends and have nothing mutual." But also from a combination of the yellow (friendship) and red (love) hearts. 
> 
> I wanted to try and do a short seho fic and because I'm sad and it's Valentine's I want you to suffer with me.  
> Recommend me some sad romantic songs in any language, please.  
> Thank you for reading and I'm sorry if this reminded you your crush is already taken. I know I reminded myself and I hate me because of it.  
> Have a beautiful Valentine's Day!


End file.
